From Cameras to Eye Candy..........

I go to work for peace and quiet to play with my new toy, a Nikon Coolpix ever-so-weeny camera bought only yesterday.......

The peace however, is shattered by the chainsaw-wielding gardener (albeit hunky) who appears to have selected a spot right outside my window in which to perform his floral massacres. I grumpily contemplate that horticultural hotties should be green and not heard....... I attempt to block out his racket by having secret moments with my new camera, stroking the tiny case and being inordinately amused by the magically extending lens which seems mightily suggestive to someone who has been celibate for the last three years! But the hedgetrimming hunk wins back my attention by default of decibel level, and I try to divest him of his shirt through my astoundingly useless powers of telepathy.... The sun has obviously fried his receptors, and the shirt remains resolutely in situ despite the streams of sweat pouring off His Hunkiness as he labours in the heat of a summer’s morning..... Distractedly, I find myself thinking that he really ought to be wearing a hat and pull myself up short....... When did I suddenly become his MOTHER????

Alas it appears that I must put up with hunky gardener eye-candy PLUS noise, as he appears to be inseparable from his equipment, so to speak. Despite the fact that I should be working, I enjoy the spectacle he presents, and time slows down - putting him into slo-mo mode a la Desperate Housewives.... Reluctantly, I return to my work as he moves out of sight, but it’s not long before I’m aware that the noise has stopped. Has he lopped off a limb, and is perhaps lying bleeding into the undergrowth outside? Alarmed, I peer out of the window....... and get caught staring at his arse as he bends over beneath my window to pick up his tools. He grins and heads off to his van, wilfully depriving me of further entertainment, and defeated, I knuckle down to gainful employment.

I’m sure it’s just pure coincidence when he hands in his notice a couple of weeks later......