It's a gas, man...

YAY! Today is B-Day.... No - not BIDET, but Boiler Day.

Following the conflagration which ended with the demise of my elderly hot water boiler, I am at last to be reconnected to mains gas again. After nearly three weeks without hot water (and a week of no water at all!) the insurance company have graciously granted me the luxury of a new boiler, and so I issue an invitation to my tame plumbers to sort me out.

The lovely Andrew arrives first thing in the morning and I hand over my key with the usual instructions re not letting the moggy escape, then beat a hasty retreat to work while he and his colleagues wreak further havoc on my already-ruined kitchen... I never thought I'd hear myself saying it, but I am SO looking forward to washing up in hot water! Who would think a confirmed lazy slob such as myself would ever aspire to such dizzy heights of domesticity, but believe me - when you've had to spend three weeks boiling saucepans of imported water for dishwashing, anything that comes out of a tap - hot - is nothing short of a miracle!

I arrive home after my allotted time in slavery to find the house deserted except for my moggy, and go to investigate the new boilerage... Super Mario Brothers have done a cracking job and a brand spanking new gizmo resides in the corner of my kitchen - or what's left of it..... In order to fit the new boiler, they have had to remove a wall cabinet, the contents of which are spread along the worktop, liberally coated in dust... The cat too looks distinctly grey as she pads along the gritty work surface leaving pawprints, and suddenly the novelty of being able to run a sink full of hot water to start the clean-up operation loses its lustre...

Once more, I close the door firmly on the grimy kitchen and reach for the phone to order takeaway...