Elb in a lather.......

Some folk get excited at the prospect of a foreign holiday. Others find that new clothes float their boat.

Not me.

What do I get in a lather about? A new washing machine.

It has been so long since I could toss my laundry into the belly of the beast in my kitchen, that the mere prospect of a replacement machine is enough to send me into raptures. I drool over examples on the internet before choosing instead to rent one via a local dealer, as I plan to refit my manky kitchen before long, and may want to incorporate one into the units.... A nice young man delivers a brand new machine within a day of my plea, and removes its defunct predecessor after much huffing, puffing and swearing under his breath, (for my benefit) before manouevring the young pretender into place. I gleefully sign my name to the six-month contract, hand over a cheque and virtually push the guy out the door, so eager am I to play with my latest toy!

Washing day has never been so eagerly anticipated, and my bedroom becomes a whirling tornado of unwashed garments as I frantically sort whites from coloureds in a frenzy of laundry-based racism. Basket piled high, I risk life and limb by attempting to teeter blindly down the stairs, but realise this may be somewhat foolish and resort to hurling the laundry over the banisters to land in a heap below. I resist the temptation to throw myself with gay abandon into the pile of smelly socks and other sundries, but gather the load to stuff into the gaping maw of the new machine. After carefully digesting the instructions, ("Open door, place washing inside drum. Close door".......) I add detergent, select the programme and stand back............

OH JOY!!!!! It works!!

The cat regards me with haughty disdain as I caper round my kitchen in paroxysms of delight, then hare off upstairs to sort the next load of washing. She obviously thinks I am off my trolley, whereas I am simply thankful for small mercies and vow that I will NEVER take my washing machine for granted again! As I watch the cat stretch lazily out for a snooze in the evening sunshine, I ponder that maybe I'll come back as a cat in the next life? After all, they seem to have a cushy life - sleep all day, chase a mouse or two, get fed and have no laundry worries whatsoever. Then I see my moggy making a meal out of washing her butt, and promptly change my mind................ Maybe not.