WARNING! ELB AT WARPSPEED...........

I HAVE BROADBAND!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! ........ FINALLY!

I am just SOOOOOO excited it’s positively unhealthy...and from being a laid-back, ever-so-easy-Elb, I am suddenly hyperactive and desperate to get home and online, where my true calling lies.... However, I have to suffer a day in the Real World first and do something to earn a crust, but at work, I am counting the minutes - nay - SECONDS till I can go home.

Freshly connected to the internet via broadband as from last night, a wider world of webbiness has opened up to me. I am in download heaven.......

Previously on dial-up, everything was SOOOOO slow to load - I was getting left behind in online conversations, and pictures were a definite no-no. Image-hungry message boards were the bane of my life, and I ended up missing so much. Last night, on the forums for the first time on broadband, I was so hyper I was answering questions almost before they'd been asked! I was posting so much, they nicknamed me Superfast Elb! *Cheesy grin* I'm so boingy with excitement, I feel like a kid the night before Christmas! I spend six hours straight online, hurtling wildly at warpspeed around the ever-expanding vastness of cyberspace on the Starship AppleMac, in search of juicy downloads, whilst holding multiple conversations on different message boards at the same time! Talk about multi-tasking! I am so involved, I forget dinner, and it is only when my stomach sends out distress calls that I take note, and throw a sad-git supper down my neck whilst still online......... Before, when a page was loading, I had time to go downstairs, make coffee, knit a sweater.... and when I came back, it was STILL loading...... Now, I am afraid to leave the computer in case I miss something! *Makes note to install kettle and fridge next to computer*

I start making lists of all the things I want to download and wonder briefly how soon it will be before I exceed my allotted 6GB limit...... I am tempted in by iTunes and Podcasts and all the bandwidth-hungry stuff I couldn't watch before like film trailers (Oooh - Pirates of the Caribbean 2!!!!) and videos..... My thoughts are all over the place, and for the umpteenth time at work, I wish I wasn't there. Why can't I be a Lady Wot Lunches?

I have always had a butterfly mind (and memory of a goldfish...) but it appears that my butterfly has metamorphosed overnight into a squash ball pinging around at great speed in the cavernous space between my ears. It's as if speeding up my internet access has had the same effect on my poor beleaguered brain, and ideas are bouncing around in there without restraint, bashing against each other and spawning ever more random thoughts. I can't marshall any of them into anything remotely resembling sanity, so I decide to just go with the flow for now.... Writing this is therapy for me, although it must be torture for anyone who reads it. Nobody can keep up with the way my mind is working, least of all me!

Work at last done for the day, I drive at speed to get home, managing to avoid speed traps, road blocks and pedestrians alike, race upstairs and launch myself into hyperdrive online, fuelled by caffeine by the bucket-load. Probably not wise - (I can hear Scotty now......."The engines canna take it Cap'n - the Dilithium crystals are overheating!!!!! She's gonna blow..........") By the time I've written this, my download tally is rising towards 400megs and this is only Day 2!!! More are scheduled to slip down the ether tonight I suspect.....

And once again, time has run away with me, and the familiar gnawing in my stomach is becoming to much to bear..... I'll find sustenance as soon as I've got another vid downloading, honest.......